Being a High Performance Coach, I have observed a lot of people who want growth or change.
Trying to change doesn’t work.
Somebody trying to get better habits doesn’t work.
Somebody trying to have more courage doesn’t work.
Somebody trying to become more confident doesn’t work.
Why?
Because trying is built on discipline and force. And self-discipline is a limited resource. It will tire at some point.
If you’re trying to force yourself into change through will-power, there seems to be an equal force of some kind of reverse psychology resisting that change.
If it works, it works only until you keep pushing. As soon as you take your foot off from gas, it tends to collapse back into previous route.
Permanent change this way is difficult, very energy-consuming, and often simply just fails, leaving people feel hopeless about ever progressing in that particular field.
The times I’ve seen change really work is when there is no longer a trying to change.
You have decided that you have changed and you have embodied it.
You’ve identified yourself as the person who already has that change and you start living into that potential.
It might sound complicated, but I think it’s actually quite simple:
You can’t consistently outperform your identity. Who you are determines what you do.
Who are you?
Are you a confident person?
If you are, you’re going to make confident choices.
Are you a lucky person?
If you are, you’re going to notice opportunities. You’re going to expect good things. And somehow, you’re going to find luck finding you.
Are you a positive person?
If you are, you’re not trying to be positive.
You’re just positive.
If you’re trying to be positive, then somewhere in your identity you’re still a negative person trying to be positive.
Or maybe a neutral person trying to be positive.
But you haven’t identified yourself as a positive person yet.
And that’s why it doesn’t stick.
Here I am in this photo, a person who doesn’t eat sweets. Decided to be that person 2 years ago in August. No will-power needed to maintain it.
If you want to know more about identity shifts and belief barriers, message me and get in touch.